Somatic, shamanic and erotic work that returns men to their desire, their voice, and the life they actually want.
When you stop hiding, your gifts stop hiding too.
Every man I sit with gave something up early. The wanting, the softness, the loudness, the magic. Whatever his particular house could not hold. It was a good decision at the time and it worked, and thirty years later he is still paying for it in ways that no longer make any sense.
My work is going back to collect it. We do that in the body, in ritual, and in the erotic, because that is where the material is stored. It is not stored in your understanding of it, which is why understanding it has never been the thing that freed you.
I have done this with hundreds of men. Physicians and comedians, founders and facilitators, men in long marriages and men who just walked out of one.
Men leave this work and change careers, end marriages that were costing them, start the thing they had been circling for years, and walk toward the man they want without collapsing on the way over.
Most men can give far more than they can take. Closing that gap changes how you are touched, how you are loved, and how much of it you can let in before you start calculating what you owe.
Both of them out loud, in the moment, without a rehearsal and without an apology attached. Your boundaries stop being ideas you hold and become something your body does on its own.
This is the quiet one, and it is the one men mention most. Waking up glad to be the person you actually are, rather than relieved to have got away with being him.
“I learned that I am trustworthy. I can better discern and choose what men I want to be around and what men I do not.”
Erotic sovereignty creates self-trust. Self-trust creates courage. Courage creates change.
Alone in front of a mirror, in a circle of men, or in a container built for one. Choose where you want to begin.
I’m ready to look at myself like a lover would.
Five weeks of shamanic mirror work through three mirrors: shadow, gold and eros. Men come out of this having stopped judging their own reflection and feeling more in love with the man they see in the mirror. What you were taught to scorn in yourself becomes the thing you celebrate.
Starts November 1st. A five-week live journey.
I’m ready to learn how to be in relationship with other queer brothers.
Eight weeks of erotic brotherhood for queer men. A small circle practising full visibility, where you get undressed in every sense, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Erotic without being sexual, which is exactly why it works. It closes with an in-person gathering to experience the erotic brotherhood somatically. Men learn to trust themselves with other men, and often find lifelong friends.
Eight weeks. Ritual nudity. New cohort begins spring 2027.
I’m ready to be met completely, by someone devoted to my becoming.
For the man whose metamorphosis needs a level of attention, devotion and safety no group can give. Built around one man: you. This bespoke container has no fixed curriculum and is custom designed to meet you at your specific threshold of becoming. A private in-person retreat is offered by invitation.
Three months minimum. By application. Voice and text access between sessions.
In every original society on earth, there were people who held the function of teaching men how to love. I work in that lineage.
The work I facilitate takes you through a death and a rebirth. Something in your life has to end, something else is trying to be born, and most men get stranded in the gap between the two because nobody ever taught them how to complete that process of transformation. Your eros is how you cross it.
What has to end. The good son. The one who shrank so that others could feel bigger. The man who translated himself before he ever spoke. We close these with ritual rather than force, and nothing gets thrown away.
“Poison becomes medicine. Always.”
What is trying to be born. Most men can name precisely what they want to escape and go blank when asked what they want instead. This is where the blankness ends and the vision that belongs to you and to nobody else becomes audible again.
“Future timelines are populated with future versions of yourself, and you get to choose.”
The force that carries you across. Your desire is not a reward you earn once the serious work is done. It is the engine of the whole crossing, and without it a man can dismantle his entire life and find he has nothing to walk toward.
“Pleasure is a compass, and it points towards your most authentic desire.”
None of this is theory I read about. They arrive woven together, not one at a time. What shows up is decided by what your body brings that day.
We start in the body every time. You do not have to feel something before we begin. We work from the physical shape of a thing and let it bring your system to the emotion.
Feeling more pleasure. Claiming your desire out loud. Learning consent and boundaries in the body rather than in theory, until your yes and your no are both fast and clean.
Parts work. We meet the protectors that formed around the wound instead of overriding them, and the younger parts they have been shielding, until your system trusts you again. What you exiled comes back as capacity rather than continuing to run you as a symptom.
We travel forward to meet the version of you on the other side of the threshold, and bring back what he asks for. This is how a man who forgot how to want begins wanting again.
Trance states, ceremony, and marked thresholds. A great deal of what you carry was handed to you and was never yours, so we also work with the well and healed ancestors who came before and dreamed you into being.
Learning to hold your own gaze without leaving. Five weeks of it changes your relationship with your reflection, and that changes your relationship with everything else.
I grew up Catholic in a small town in northern Italy, a twin, and the only gay child in a family of men. I learned what most of the men I work with learned, which is that what I wanted was the problem. So I got very good at wanting quietly.
I spent my twenties in Hollywood, working in film and television, eventually producing the queer digital series Razor Tongue, which was nominated for an Emmy. Eventually I saw through the smoke and mirrors of the industry and realized how unfulfilled I was because in order to fit in I had to perform a version of myself that wasn’t truthful. That reckoning took me to the Peruvian Amazon, where I started apprenticing within the Shipibo lineage under mestizo maestro Mauro Raetegui, and learned a way of working that had almost nothing to do with insight.
I came home and spent three years as Community Director at Sacred Sons, guiding thousands of men. I left because the parts of me that make me good at this, my queerness, my femininity, my magic, were the parts I kept having to leave outside the door.
I co-founded Brotherhood of Lovers with Langston Kahn, an organization that offers queer centered men’s work globally in the forms of gatherings and online trainings, and I have been holding this work for men ever since.
The land is alive, the ancestors are present, and we are one strand in a web that includes far more than people. That is not a mood I set to make a session feel deeper. It is the cosmology the work runs on, which is why it moves through ritual instead of advice, and why we call in the land and the well and healed ancestors before we begin anything. It also decides what the work is for. When a man releases something that was never his, it does not only leave him, it leaves the field. So if all that changes is that he becomes a more effective version of himself, and that effectiveness goes straight back into competition instead of collaboration, extraction instead of reciprocity, then nothing has actually moved. I am after men who come back into right relationship: with their own bodies, with each other, with the land, and with the ones who came before.
We shapeshift because we had to, and shapeshifting is a superpower. We are the innovators, the artists, the beauty makers, and that has always been our function in the village. Before colonization, queer people were healers, visionaries and ceremony keepers, and that lineage was deliberately broken. One of the men who came through Bloom said it better than I can: my queerness is my immense capacity and desire and thirst to love.
Straight boys learn early that the only closeness permitted between men is combat. Wrestling, tackle football, a punch on the arm to say I like you, and the one place they are allowed to weep on each other is after winning a game. Queer men were handed the opposite permission and the same poverty. We got each other’s bodies and almost nothing else, so sex became the only doorway we knew, and everything living on either side of it went unbuilt. What went missing is the whole middle, the thousand ways men can be close that sit between violence and fucking. Touch with no agenda behind it. Eye contact that lasts a second longer than it needs to. Sitting near enough to feel another man’s warmth without either of you having to explain why. I have watched grown men find that in their forties and weep, because nobody had ever told them it was available.
The offer is always intensity. Rage circles, warrior archetypes, the big cathartic breakthrough, and men go home shaking and certain that something happened. Underneath the brotherhood language the old code was still running, that other men are either useful or disposable, and intensity remains the only currency that lets a man touch another man without either of them having to call it love. It broke my heart to watch. Queer men have already had to reckon with the tenderness that was taken from us as boys, which is exactly why I think we should be the ones teaching this. If men learn to love men, the war ends.
“He creates a space where I could be vulnerable with another man and feel my desires without diminishing myself.”
“A huge turning point. Being supported so closely, without being smothered.”
“I don’t have to play second banana in my life. I am more than capable of being the leading man.”
“Instead of waiting for my score, I felt fully received.”
“A significant amount of shame and burden has come off. I feel safe to be seen. I feel desired and loved. I feel more at home and at peace in myself.”
“My queerness is my immense capacity and desire and thirst to love. And my gentleness is my strength.”
“I already have more capacity than I thought to allow my inner wild, queer magic to come forth and express itself.”
“He helped me integrate what years of therapy could not touch.”
Whether or not you identify as queer is not the point. Queerness is a technology of disruption. It is the magic of living outside the box that society built for you, and it is the oldest form of liberation we have. Every man has his own flavour of it. My work is helping men find theirs.
No, and I am not a licensed therapist. This is what a lot of men come to after therapy has taken them as far as talking can. If you are in acute crisis, you need clinical support, and I will say so.
No. Erotic and sexual are different things and the difference is the entire container. In group work there is ritual nudity, which means being seen without armor by men who are also being seen. Arousal happens, is normal, and is not pursued. There is no sexual activity between participants and this is not a cruising space.
Group work happens in a small closed circle, and what is shared inside it stays inside it. Private work stays private. I do not name clients or share anything from a session without their consent.
Queerness here is not a membership card. It is what happens when you stop living inside the box someone else built for you. Straight men do this work with me and go home better lovers and better fathers.
No. The group and private work happen online, wherever you are. In-person gatherings and retreats are separate, and you choose whether to come.
Good. That is the foundation, not the failure. What I do starts in the body, which is why it reaches things that understanding has not.
I read every application myself and reply within three days.
Seven days, one practice a day, free. You learn to locate desire in your body, stay with it without managing it, and read your own arousal as information rather than as a problem.
It costs you nothing but a week of mornings.
A letter from my desk a few times a month. What I am learning inside the work, one practice you can use that week, and first word when a container opens. You can leave whenever you like.
Get started today before this once in a lifetime opportunity expires.